1977 An Epic Movie
A historic telling of the failed attempt to capture several bridges to Germany in World War II in a campaign called Operation Market-Garden

2005 An Epic Adventure
A comical telling of the failed attempt to reach a bridge on the Ping River in an adventure called Operation IWRTBD (I-Wanna-Reach-There-Before-Darkness)

LEAVING AN EERIER PLACE

After a delicious “choc-banana-toast” breakfast by JP, we were eager to get going away from the eerier place we had put up for the night; shoving off from the muddy river banks in futile efforts to keep our feet and boats clean. Overnight rain had also splashed mud up all over the sides of our kayaks. To make matters worst, there was cow dung everywhere so we had to tread carefully. Nice spot Huey!

Huey and I figured out what the place was but we kept it from JP and Miriam until we were well away from the place. The eerier place was a crematorium! No wonder the name of the village/town was called HOT! Nice choice of place Huey … No wonder you told us those guys said we could stay there for free for as long as we like! (Until the next burning I suppose).

LAST (DAMN) DAM LEFT

BLISSFUL PADDLING

Idyllic rural scenes greeted us as we paddled further away from the city of Chiangmai. We all started taking out our digital cameras and even the buffalos on the river banks, who unlike us love the mud, held a fascination for Huey and JP (it’s not everyday that you see buffalos in Orchard Road I suppose!) who lingered on while Miriam and I paddled ahead. We made good progress and it was a nice change to be inside and carried by our kayaks instead of us carrying the kayaks from the outside! The miles floated by and our only worries was to find a place to have lunch. I jokingly said that we should pull up to a nice waterfront restaurant and have a Thai epicurean experience. Huey spotted a ‘resort-looking’ building with a gazebo over the water and we paddled towards it.

RESTAURANT BY THE RIVER

Just as we were tying our kayaks and getting out of the water an elegant lady came out from her SUV expressing surprise and delight with our arrival. A charming hostess, she was the owner of the restaurant and was herself also an accomplished chef; showing us features in magazines of her restaurant and food. It was no idle boast and the lunch was the most delicious we had during the entire trip. It was a superb meal. Over lunch, JP being the only bachelor in our group became her center of attention. Sophia looking years younger than 50, was a former Miss Chiangmai and she has a daughter who is around JP’s age. She showed us an old black and white photo of her daughter and she certainly would also qualify as a Miss Chiangmai or Miss Thailand. We teased and encouraged JP and Sophia actually got her on the hand phone from Bangkok where she is working; embarrassed JP could only muttered a few words. It’s a good thing that Huey and I are bigger sized than JP! Not to mention taller as well, ahem!
CHECKING OUT THE LAST DAM

Sophia confirmed that the last dam was only 3 kms ahead and that it would be impossible to go over it in our folding kayak; offering us a ride to check it out. Huey, Miriam and I hopped into her CRV leaving JP behind to figure out how to tell a good story to Mag if word of this betrothal gets out!

We saw the narrow concrete abutments at the bottom of the dam and knew that we have no choice but to portage around it. Sophia suggested that we should hire a pick-up to ferry the boats from her restaurant to a drop off place in front of a temple after the dam. Who is to argue with a sensible idea like that after a heavy lunch? Not me.

PLANTATIONS AND RESORT

We agreed on a price with some guys sitting by their pick-up and headed back. On the way Sophia pointed to us the longan plantations she owned and wondered if we would be interested to see her resort as well. Would we? What else has she got up her sleeve? Her own beautifully designed house (she designed, engineered and built it herself - is there anything she cannot do?) and resort adjoining it fronts a nice lake. Miriam was smitten and wants to retire there! We had to remind her that we were on an expedition. We arrived back to the restaurant to find a shirtless JP - ‘flaunting his wares’ as Huey puts it. I was getting a bellyache as JP feigns excuses that it was a hot winter day!

RESUMING OUR PADDLE

We had to do two trips as the pick-up could only take two kayaks at a time. Finally we were back on the water after the long lunch break by which time it was getting late in the afternoon. Huey talked to the villagers we met along the riverbanks to find out where we could camp ahead for the night. “There is a nice accommodation available just after the fourth bridge. It’s very near”. You are right! We started counting the bridges we would pass under, mindful of the remaining hours of daylight left.

A BRIDGE TOO FAR

We passed under two bridges but by the time we reached the third bridge where there was a monastery, it was starting to get dark. Though we were paddling hard to try to get to the fourth bridge, I couldn’t resist stopping once in a while to take photos of the lovely sunset and I think the rest of the gang did the same as they were a long way behind me. I kept looking at my watch and ahead but there was no bridge in sight. Finally JP pulled up besides me and from the look on his face I knew that he supported capital punishment specifically if was dished out on Huey. At the very least a Michael Fay as it had been a while and the public may need to be reminded. There was less than 10 minutes of faint light left before it gets pitch black. JP dropped back to accompany Miriam who was getting seriously nervous. I broke a red light stick and slipped it under stern bungee as a beacon for them. Huey came up and tried to race ahead to look for his bridge but fell back after a while. We had been pushing hard and were tired. I spotted an empty house on the left banks but Huey’s mind was fixated on reaching the 4^th bridge. He was a bit too far for me to hit him with my paddle. We don’t care – we all just want to stop, even if its another crematorium!

The river currents seemed to be getting stronger as the darkness descended on us. I do not know about you but I get spastic when I can’t see where I am going and to say I was getting edgy is an understatement. If anyone of us keel over in the strong currents it would be an incident. Where is the darn bridge! Around a bend we saw some lights on the banks and a group of men but the currents were too strong sweeping us away before we could stop and ask them where the elusive bridge is. Then up ahead on the right we saw steps leading up from the river onto a grand promenade. By then Huey had also had enough and we found a spot where the water was calmer for us to park our boats. In the darkness we pulled up our kayaks onto the safety of the first promenade. After catching our breath, Huey and JP went off to find out where we were and to ask permission to camp on the grounds for the night. It was strange to find such a grand waterfront complete with steps leading up to 2 promenades and rubble-walled banks. Even in the darkness we could see that the grounds were huge with English style vines covered trellises walkway. It was surreal. Is this an exclusive country club for well heeled Thais, Royal Residence or perhaps a billionaire’s home? We would never have guessed that it was a Buddhist Retreat! After a while Huey came back with a guy shining a torch light at us, whom I presume to be the caretaker, and after pulling our kayaks up to the second tier promenade we followed him to a covered shed where we can put up for the night. This has really been A Bridge Too Far; also a failed attempt but with a happy ending! Moonlight kayaking anyone?

Stumble It!